my take on respecting your elders

“respect your elders” is a phrase we are often told.. amongst others like…

“dont talk to me like that…im older than you”

“i can do what i want to because im older”

“you owe it to me because im elder than you are”

fair enough…respect ur elders is what islam teaches…but its our indian mentality that leads us to believe that thats all that matters…

we forget that islam teaches us to also respect those younger than us.

we wonder howcome the youth have gone astray? its because we show so little respect to them. all that matters is what we say and what we want and we never give them the opportunities they deserve.

we talk to those younger than us however we feel like but then expect respect in return?how exactly does that work?

we allowed to insult, ridicule, swear and belittle the youth whenever we want but then expect them to respect us because we are ‘older’.

we are expected to tolerate the elderly and have patients…but they cannot tolerate us?they cannot tolerate our ideas or our ways…

majority of the indian community believe that anything an elderly person says is correct…regardless of logic and regardless of what islam actually teaches. it must be stopped.

the elderly are NOT always right… and the young are NOT always at fault… 

its not only the elderly that have gone through so much in life.. todays youth also have gone through alot. 

some yourh are far more wise and mature than alot of elderly ppl. 

its something thats been bugging me for ages and needed to be said…

what are your thoughts?

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marriage conference 2017

​assalamu alaykum/peace to one and all

if youve been following me for a while, you would know that last year round about this time there were a couple of posts regarding the marriage conference that was coming up at the sandton convention centre.

this year its back again and probably for the last time in johannesburg. its much bigger and far better than it was last year with a whole load of extra items added to the itenary.

im usually not one to attend seminars and conferences etc but since i was involved last year, i attended the conference and id like you all to know that i dont regret it in the least.

it was by far an amazing experience. the amount learnt in just that oneday was unbelievable. the speakers were phenomenal and the things they brought to light touched my heart in a way il never be able to express.

although there were thousands of people, it was as if the speakers were speaking directly to me. 

whether you are already married, divorced, widowed, a single parent, looking to get married or have been married for years… theres so much to learn for every category of people.

marriage is a sunnah of our beloved nabi sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam. it completes half our faith, however its no secret how many of our muslim marriages are failing today and the number is increasing everyday. attending the marriage conference will not only help you better ur marriage, but will teach you about your own self as it has taught me about myself.

as a married person, we often want to change our spouse when the problem actually lies within ourselves. we cannot change another person but we can change our outlook on things. we can learn who we really are. and if there was one lesson that i brought home last year…it is this!

so if you missed out last year… you have one more opportunity to attend this year…

the marriage conference 2017 will inshallah be held on the 22 july 2017 at the sandton convention centre.

theres a whole lot to look forward to such as inspirational talks, an expo, ilm arts festival, youth zone, kids zone and the list goes on.

follow me on instagram for more updates regarding what the line up will be like… INSTA @dvinetreats

to book your tickets, there are different prices for different tickets and all onfo may be found on the following link…

https://www.quicket.co.za/events/18227-marriage-conference-2017/?lc=D-vine-Treats-Eastrand

or to view a snippet of last years program, feel free to click on this link….

hope to see you all there as there will also be a bloggers corner….

hurry and book your tickets before they are sold out!!!!

wassalaam/peace

bibi ayesha

love…

Is there ever really a thing called love? Or is it something imaginary..

If there is…how do you get love? 

I think it doesnt exist…because if it does… why are some deprived of it while others have it in abundance?

Love is far fetched.

i wonder if il ever know what it feels like to be loved… truly, madly, deeply…

giving your life for someone clearly doesnt bring you love..

respecting someone doesnt giv you love…

sacrificing and having patience doesnt give you love…

effort doesnt give you love…

so what does?

does it make you feel whole? Complete?

marriage definitely doesnt give you love…

marriage is just convenience for the one and torture and oppression to the other..

or am i understanding it wrong.

are there others that feel the way i do?

or is it just me in the entire world that has this all wrong?i have tried everything to feel loved… but i still dont feel it.

Maybe i should stop trying and it will find me…

or maybe i should just stop expecting love completely…

hurt is definitely real…

pain is real

betrayal and mistrust is real…

but love?

its imaginary…

The nights

it may hurt the most at night….

The loneliness will catch up with you.

Its the time when families are sitting around and having their ‘time’ while you are left alone with your thoughts.

When everyone is asleep and you have to lay alone with your heart aches… knowing that not a soul can take your pain away.. no one can feel your pain. No one understanda how hard it might be. But its okay…

Nothing…. not even heartache and difficulty lasts forever. Eventually it will pass and better things will open up.

Its in those times we need to pour our hearts out to Allah for only He will ever understand. 

We dont follow His rules and laws… His open commands… yet He is always there for us.

He loves us u conditionally and rewards us when we dont deserve.

As hard as it may be… even though we are at our lowest…. be strong… get up and pray… our prayers will be answered when we cry to him at night.

Because in His eyes… its more than okay to cry… its more than okay to show how weak and vulnerable we are. He will never judge us or take avantage of us.

Be strong at night…

Pray at night…

Cry to Him at night…

And hope for the greatest at night….

The stillness is a blessing… not a punishment

its okay to cry…

You dont always have to be strong… you dont always have to pretend to the world that everything is okay when its not..

You dont hAve to always have a smiling face…

You are allowed to let loose..allowed to cry… it shows that you are human… that you feel emotion.. that you feel pain.

Crying is a step towards recovery.

It takes the weight off your shoulders and makes you feel lighter.

Enough of suffering in silence.. enough of pretending that you have a perfect and normal life… when you dont. When your life has been nothing but misery.

You have been betrayed, hurt, abused, degraded, belittled, slandered, oppressed…

Those are things that are bound to make you hurt..

Pain makes us stronger.

Difficulties mould us into who we will be.

Downhills eventually take you to better places ..

A person who goes through difficulty learns from life. Becomes wiser and can face anything.

Cry if you must but lift your head up again and move forward.

No one is worth your life or your pain.

Any person who hurts you, was never meant to be with you in the first place.

You will find your happiness within yourself.. not in anyone else.

Nothing you have ever done goes unnoticed in the eyes of Allah.

Allah rewards every single deed.

Be patient for the good times are only beginning.

Its time to say goodbye to hardship and pain.

Let others call you selfish but you have wasted far too much time being selfless.

Its time to care for yourself. Love yourself. Pick yourself up and finally be happy

you are worth so much more

To every human being out there in the world……

To every woman who has ever been oppressed, abused….whether emotionally, physically, verbally…. i feel your pain.

You are hurting and feel stuck…almost as if u are lost in a maze… it frustrates you to the point where you want to pull your hair out…. why is there no way out?

But there is….there always has been… but we are too afraid to take that route…

Afraid of what people might say…

Afraid of the loneliness…

Afraid that you will regret your choices in life..

Afraid that you will be looked down upon…

Afraid of being rejected…

Afraid of not being able to support yourself…

Stop being afraid…

Your future…your happiness….depends on you and only you..

No-one can or will control you.. you will always be incharge of your own happiness.

If you have to fight for someones love and tespect…then their love and respect is not worthy of you.

You deserve better and you will get better.

Leave before its too late.

Nobody is suffering your pain.. no one is lying in bed beside you and comforting your soul.

Today make that decision and stand by it. Be firm that this is what you need.

That you will no longer stand for the abuse…you will not be belittled… you will not take anyones disrespect.

Leave and make yourself happy. Because Allah watches all. He sees the injustice done to you… He is the only one who sees your pain. And He is the only one who will relieve your pain.

Justice will be served.. they will suffer the consequences of their actions. If not in this world, then in the hereafter.

Allah is Most Just!

If Allah rewards us for even the agony from a thorn prick, what then wont he give us for all the oppression, injustice and abuse we have undergone.

My dear sister….you are never alone…

There are so many who are suffering just like you…but together we can help eachother. Ofcourse with none other than the assistance of Allah.

Dont allow yourself to reach the stage that i have…my tears have run dry…my emotions have died completely. I have died completely inside…

But as of today…i choose to be reborn. I will be free inshallah… i will love only those who love me… i will care only about those who care for me…i will do what pleases me(within the confines of what pleases Allah)..

I am what matters…

You my dear sister is what matters.

You have always mattered…

Just because some insecure and immature human has brain washed you to believe that you are nothing…it doesnt mean that its true…

You are a precious life… you are beautiful with all your faults… you should be loved for who you are…not for who they want you to be…

No more tears my dear sister…no more heartaches my dear sister….no more regrets…no more fears…

Just love…happiness…contentment and peace!

You are not alone….

Ever!

Competition!!

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Would like to attend the conference but cant seem to make up your mind?

D-vine treats!(eastrand) has the solution for you!!

We are running a COMPETITION… its THIS simple…

Competition starts on the 11 july 2016 and ends on 17 july 2016…

One lucky COUPLE will receive a COUPLES ticket to Ėthe conference..

Follow the steps below..

1.follow @dvinetreats and @marriageconference1 on instagram
2.like all of our marriage conference pictures
3.repost any 1 of our marriage conference pictures on your page
4.tag 3 friends

Just 4 easy steps and you could win 2 tickets worth R500 each to the marriage conference which will be held at the sandton convention centre on the 30th july 2016..

To learn more about the conference or to view ticket info click on the link below…

https://www.quicket.co.za/events/17557-marriage-conference-2016/?lc=D-vineTreats

Or contact…
D-vine treats!(eastrand)
0734281701
0604695093

Marriage conference 2016

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Time is running out and tickets are getting sold out faster than you can imagine…

Its an event not to be missed..

Book your tickets for the marriage conference which will be held on the 30 july 2016 at the sandton convention centre.

With guests speakers like yasmin mogahed, moulana bham and idrees khamissa, amongst others… who would want to miss out..?

Please click on link below to book your tickets before its too late…

https://www.quicket.co.za/events/17557-marriage-conference-2016/?lc=D-vineTreats

Contact:
D-vine treats!(eastrand)
0734281701
0604695093
Follow us on instagram @dvinetreats